‘Emotional Atyachaar’ – The corrected ‘Emotional Appeal’ of Mr. Sahara

Pen is mightier than sword, and at CWG, it fucking even costs more than the sword (Click to enlarge.)

Impressed by our heartfelt initiative – ‘Bharat Ratna for Kalmadi’, the legendary scooter-man Mr. Subroto Roy Sahara has written an ’emotional appeal’ in today’s newspapers. Here, we publish the unedited, subtexted version of the appeal – as a first major proof in support of our demand.

Vote India Vote!

Sheila ji voted. Did you?

At Jay Hind, we believe a great statesman is like a good scam:  bearded on the surface, smiling beneath.

Suresh Kalmadi is one such man. To rephrase what Einstein said about Mahatma Gandhi – “Generations to come will look at this man’s unofficial income and say: WHAT THE FUCK!”

CWG has been a one-stop showcase for Mr. Kalmadi’s vision – he set-out to do what no other man in the history could even dare to think of – to begin the END of the colonial-hangover called CommonWealth Games, to put the Queen’s baton back into the Royal a** of our former rulers, to give India it’s first International standard failure almost as grand as Munich-1972 and Atlanta-1996, to build stadiums so great that even its walls and roofs come down in awe, and to help the national capital get rid of that last sign of our depresisng past, Kanaat Place, also known as CP amongst bureaucratic circles and clueless teenagers. All this, while making a cool buck for himself and his fellow countrymen. (Around 40 of them, as per a rough estimate.)

All this and ‘much more’ make Mr. Kalmadi a man who will get beards of the world, its lost respect back. And only that, nothing more, is our reason for this public service initiative.

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So here’s the deal.

1. Show your support by voting “Suresh Kalmadi for Bharat Ratna”.

2. Every 100th vote will win a free trip to CWG village, and a 3D-4N stay next to the railway tracks where a stadium was supposed to come up but nobody asked.

3*. The voting mechanism is still not functional, but we insist that it is. Just figure out how to vote, don’t ask too many questions.

4. You can also send us money, for building a BRTS lane next to our house in Nainital. We promise we won’t let anybody else use it.

(* – No. 3 is submitted by Mr. Kalmadi himself.)

So get going – VOTE FOR SURESH KALMADI to make him a BHARAT RATNA, officially.

P.S. – Online petition coming soon.

P.S. 2 – ‘Soon’ is a funny word in CWG parlance.